Second Angelversary

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not a mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition and of unspeakable love.”  

Washington Irving~

Yesterday was the second anniversary of Steve's death.  There was an outpouring of love from my friends and family.  A friend kept me occupied all day so that I would not lay in my bed and feel sorry for myself.  She and I reminisced about Steve...laughed over the funny things he would do and say.  We talked about what we missed most about him.  It was a positive remembrance.  I was able to remember Steve with joy instead of tears.  

 

The longer Steve is gone, the more I am able to focus on all the great memories we made together.  Our life together wasn't perfect, but it was imperfectly perfect for us.  I was so blessed for the time I had with him.  I am choosing to remember his life rather than his death...his accomplishments...his quirky sense of humor...his generosity...his eternal optimism...his passion for life...his love for his family...his devotion to me...his unshakable faith.

This would be how Steve would want to be remembered.

And I honored him on his angelversary by doing exactly that.

27

Cyna

Steve's Angelversary

This is the last picture I have of Steve.  He competed in a triathlon in Mississippi and took fourth place.  Seven days later he was gone.  Steve’s angelversary is coming up next week…July 5^th to be exact.  It’s hard to believe he’s been gone for a year.  My life has changed so much over the last 12 months.  While there has been great pain, frustrations, sadness, and loneliness, God has blessed me over and over.  It has been liberating to lay my life at His feet and live totally by faith.

Yesterday, I sold Steve’s practice.  It was a bittersweet day.  It was a blessing to sell it, as my deadline to do so was less than a week away.  And, the man who purchased it is exactly who the Team and I prayed for all these long months.  He will keep Steve’s legacy alive and continue to provide Steve’s patients with kindness and skilled care.  But it was sad, too, as it was the end of a dream.  Steve and I put so much of our life into that practice.  It was a shining pinnacle of his hard work, wisdom, and skill.  Selling the practice was a bit like selling Steve.  I don’t expect others to understand this feeling, but it is there, nonetheless.

I will be taking a sabbatical, as it were, for a couple of weeks, to regroup, rest, and reflect.  I’m going to try to go without electronics, including my phone and computer.  I plan to enjoy my family and listen for God’s still, small voice pointing me in my new direction.

27

Cyna