I made it through another holiday season. I didn’t shed a single public tear. People don’t want to hear about loss or watch you grieve when everything is so festive. The grieving are dark spirits in a season of laughter and light.
Christmas has been extraordinarily hard for me for many years. I buried my father on Christmas Eve. I was so overwhelmed the first Christmas without my husband, that I loaded up my children and ran away to a warm, tropical location. Frankly, we just skipped Christmas that year. The second year it was financially impractical for us to go away and this year logistics and work schedules didn’t give us a window of escape.
And so, we marched on with our traditions and festivities. I decorated a tree just for Steve and lit a candle for him to burn through the holiday. The family tree is especially hard…for each ornament is a time capsule…a season of each of our children’s lives, a place we have been…or special events...all good memories. But wonderful memories can be the hardest ones this time of year.
But memories are all we have now and I refuse to run away from them…for they are the things I treasure most.
God gave me the gift of a wonderful husband who was a loving and supportive father to his sons. Christmas is a time to be thankful for gifts.
Thank you, God, for my time with Steve.
Thank you most of all for your gift of Jesus Christ.