I have not dreamed of Steve since his death. I find this disconcerting, as I am a vivid, Technicolor dreamer. My mother, who is also a widow, dreamed of my late father only once. He came to her, held her for a long time, told her that she would be okay and then quietly slipped away. She said that dream gave her peace and a desire to move forward with her life.
I want Steve to come to me in my dreams and tell me that I will be all right. I need the comfort of his words. I need his validation that I need to go on with my life. I am so stuck. I’ve got one foot in the past and one in the present. I keep looking back and that keeps me from looking forward.
So, God, help me to dream. Help me to dream of Steve.
“Sleep, sleep, beauty bright,
Dreaming in the joys of night;
Sleep, sleep; in thy sleep
Little sorrows sit and weep.”
Dreaming in the joys of night;
Sleep, sleep; in thy sleep
Little sorrows sit and weep.”
~William Blake
27
Cyna
