Sunday, June 12, 2011

To Dream

I have not dreamed of Steve since his death.  I find this disconcerting, as I am a vivid, Technicolor dreamer.  My mother, who is also a widow, dreamed of my late father only once.  He came to her, held her for a long time, told her that she would be okay and then quietly slipped away.  She said that dream gave her peace and a desire to move forward with her life.

I want Steve to come to me in my dreams and tell me that I will be all right.  I need the comfort of his words.  I need his validation that I need to go on with my life.  I am so stuck.  I’ve got one foot in the past and one in the present.  I keep looking back and that keeps me from looking forward.

So, God, help me to dream.  Help me to dream of Steve.

“Sleep, sleep, beauty bright,
Dreaming in the joys of night;
Sleep, sleep; in thy sleep
Little sorrows sit and weep.”
            ~William Blake



Pam Martin said...

I don't know if you have seen this movie our would feel it was a time you could watch it, but I thought of you so many times last night as we watched The Five People You Will Meet in Heaven. It's the most wonderful movie and really has changed my thoughts about our purpose on this earth. I hope you and the boys can watch it if you haven't already. What a purpose Steve left on this earth.
I pray you dream dreams and see visions my sweet lady:)

maria said...

I too hope to dream. I had two disturbing brief dreams awhile back, but nothing comforting yet, like he's with me. I finally had a least a neutral dream where he showed up the other night, so I thnk we're going in the right direction at least.

May you have sweet dreams tonight.