MOVE

I've really been in a low place the last few weeks.  There's nothing like the bottom of a pit to bring you to your knees.  And for me, that where I needed to be.  You see, I've been leaving God out of my healing equation.  I've been slack in my daily time with Him and my meditation on His Word.

Yesterday, my daily devotion from Luke reminded me ONE thing is needful in my life - to sit at the feet of Jesus and hear His word.  Everything else is a distraction that pulls me away from this base need.

On my way to work today, I heard a song by Mercy Me entitled "Move."  I think those words were written for me.  Take the time to view the video below.

My devotion tonight confirmed the words of the song to be true.  In Romans 8:18 Paul says, "I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."

In my last post, I wrote about closed doors, but God is telling me to look joyfully, expectantly forward, despite the fact I have closed doors in my life.  I cannot conceive of a happiness so deep, a pleasure so complete, a glory so glorious that my grief here is swallowed up by it. I just have to believe it.  

God, I'm trying.

Be patient with me...I'm a slow learner.

27

Cyna

Live and Move

A year ago I was so consumed with grief that every movement was painful.  However, I knew that if I ever stopped moving that I would never get up.  So, I got through each day minute by minute.  

Then hour by hour.

Then day by day.

Sure, I was only going through the motions...but at least I was in motion. I was alive and functioning at a minimal level, but it kept me moving.  And moving helped me relearn how to live.

Then one day, I woke up and I had a buzz of energy.

Shock. How could this be?

Guilt set in.

I must be breaking all the rules of widowhood.

But the buzz of energy remained

And after a while, I admitted to myself

That it felt deliciously good.

And so through this year I have slowly eased back into life.

No, it's not the same life.

My husband's absence is always evident

And I miss him dreadfully.

But every moment of my day

Is not clouded by the patina of grief

nor is the undertow of pain so overwhelming.

Little by little

I'm loosing my hold on a past I cannot keep

And getting on with the life I have.

27

Cyna