Okay. I admit it. I have allowed fear and uncertainty to dominate my life the past few weeks. All the "unknowables" of this new "life" I'm living have really pulled me down. I just don't "get" WHY God wants me to be a widow....WHY He wants my sons to be fatherless....WHY He took a good man away when there are so many rotten ones left out there. The Bible says in Eccleastes, "You do not know the path of the wind....how bones are formed in the womb...you do not know the activity of God." (11:5) I'll say AMEN to that.
Quite frankly, there's a lot in life I'll never know or understand, but I do know that God has brought me this far for a purpose. Psalm 3:5-8 tells me that I need to 'trust God from the bottom of my heart and not try to figure out everything on my own. I need to listen for His voice in everything I do. He is the ONLY one who will keep me on track. I don't know it all...nor should I want to. I need to run to God. He will make my body glow with health and my very bones will vibrate with life.' I like the sound of that....VIBRATE with life. I used be like that...and I want to be like that again.
So, knowing and understanding everything just isn't God's plan for me or anyone else. I've got to remember that it's not WHAT I know, but WHO I know that will prosper and protect me all the days of my life. I've got to put the unknown into God's hands and let Him handle the rest.