Saturday, August 4, 2012

Good Timber

Early in our marriage my husband faced an adversity he didn't contribute to or create.  It was the first time I saw something throw him off kilter.  The unfairness of it all made me mad, but my anger would not have helped Steve.  All I could do was quietly support him.

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I gave him a card with a poem that I hoped would give him perspective.  Recently, while cleaning out his things, I found this very poem...weathered and worn.  For him to save it all those years, meant he read it when something new shook his confidence.  It it had meant something to him then...and finding it means something to me now.

Through that tattered paper, Steve was sending me a message...begging me to keep perspective...and not to let the unfairness of life keep me from being what I was meant to be.  He was imploring me to stand tall, even though the winds blow with force against me.

I needed that message today...just like Steve needed it so long ago.


    Good Timber

      by Douglas Malloch

    The tree that never had to fight
    For sun and sky and air and light,
    But stood out in the open plain
    And always got its share of rain,
    Never became a forest king
    But lived and died a scrubby thing.

    The man who never had to toil
    To gain and farm his patch of soil,
    Who never had to win his share
    Of sun and sky and light and air,
    Never became a manly man
    But lived and died as he began.

    Good timber does not grow with ease:
    The stronger wind, the stronger trees;
    The further sky, the greater length;
    The more the storm, the more the strength.
    By sun and cold, by rain and snow,
    In trees and men good timbers grow.

    Where thickest lies the forest growth,
    We find the patriarchs of both.
    And they hold counsel with the stars
    Whose broken branches show the scars
    Of many winds and much of strife.
    This is the common law of life.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Light on a Dark Path

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Writing this blog is my therapy.  I could keep it in a journal for my eyes only, but I don't.  I lay my hurt, fears, pain, anger, and other assorted unsavory emotions out there for the world to see.  

Some have questioned why I continued to write.
Yes, my husband has been gone two years. 
The thing is...I will always grieve.

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When I write about my grief, I’m not begging for pity or trying to get attention. I’m mostly sharing because you or someone you care about is going to lose someone they love in the near future. And when you/they do, the feelings will be just as grueling, unfathomable and misunderstood as the ones I've experienced. Grief has so many manifestations and there is no sorting out its complexities.  

But if my writings have given you any gift…I hope my honesty will help you or help you help someone you care about create light on this dark path of grief.