Forgiveness

"Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time—just like it does for you and me." --Sara Paddison

Death brings out the best and worst in people.  I have been amazed at the outpouring of love showered on me and my family, some by people I barely know.  I have received expressions of sympathy and support from friends lost by distance and time....calls and visits by acquaintances who felt the need to reach out and to tell me how much my husband meant to them or kindnesses he extended to them.  I've had students at my school that I don't teach write sweet "cards" on folded notebook paper.  For these things I am truly blessed.

Conversely, I have been disturbed, dismayed, and destraught over the inattention of those who should be loving me through this horrible time.  I understand that we all process the death of a loved one differently, but that can not be an excuse to avoid a grieving widow and her children.  At first I was shocked by this situation....then wounded.....and now, I am becoming bitter.  I do not want to be bitter...bitterness is a poison pill that will eat me up from the inside out. I know I can not change these people nor can I ever expect them to understand why I am so hurt.  So, I have to release them AND my need for their attention and help.  I have to forgive them and move on.