Grief has caused many changes in my life. One of the most disconcerting has been my loss of memory. I used to be so sharp and could remember even the most superfluous information. Now, I can’t even remember what I had for lunch yesterday.
It is embarrassing to tell people that if they want me to remember something they will either have to email or text it to me. Now, I have sticky notes all over with “stuff” I need to remember. How could my mind have gone to mush so quickly?
All my grief books assure me that this memory loss is normal and temporary. The books go on to say that I am not losing my mind, even though sometimes I may feel like I’ve misplaced it. Yet, those facts bring little comfort when I run into someone who obviously knows me by name and I have a complete conversation with them and walk away going….”Who was THAT?”
I have to often remind myself that grief is hard work and regaining my former self will take lots of time. My memory will return eventually. But until it does, if I don’t recognize you…or forget things you tell me…or don’t show up when I’m supposed to…or forget your birthday, please forgive me. I’m not firing on all my pistons.