Light griefs can speak, great ones cannot. Seneca
Nothing can prepare you for the death of your husband, and now, almost a year after his passing, I am still shocked that he is gone. Grief has thrown me into emotional turmoil, but you may be surprised that I have not sought professional help. I have tried counseling before for other issues and did not find it helpful. For other people, therapy may be exactly what you need, but for me…no. I have great respect for counselors and therapists; in fact, my best friend is a counselor. I am just unable talk about my grief with someone who has not traveled down this dark road. I want counseling to provide solutions. There is no “solution” to death.
I am wise enough to know that holding all these consuming feeling churning inside me is not healthy. I have found that writing on this blog is an effective way to cope with my feelings. It is helping me sort out and identify what is happening to me and relieves me of the need to carry it around in my head every minute of every day.
While most of my posts have focused on my pain and difficulties, as time passes, I hope to be able to write about stories from my life with Steve: tender moments, funny incidents, favorite jokes, or anecdotes that keep his memory alive even though he is gone. Many people believe, in error, that it is kinder to never speak of the dead. This is all the more reason for me to celebrate in writing about his life.
Some have questioned why I have made my feelings so public. That answer is simple. God never lets a hurt go unused. I hope that my ramblings will help another who is traveling down this path of grief.
I hope that if you have a friend, co-worker, or loved one that might be helped by what I am writing, that you will share this site with them.