Saturday, January 14, 2012

The Second Year is the Hardest

Everyone was right.  The second year of widowhood is the hardest.

Actually the second half of the second year.  I was making forward movement in my life until December...and life hit reverse.  It has been so disconcerting to know that all the progress I have made on creating my new "normal" has crumbled.

I thought the worse was over, but the reality of my aloneness is seeping into my marrow.  I hate not being able to discuss challenges or successes with my husband.  I miss the warmth of his body next to mine at night.  I ache for the tender kisses he would sprinkle over my eyes in the morning.  I just miss him more and more every day.

I will never fall out of love with my late husband.  He has imprinted himself upon my very soul.

So, how do I move forward knowing this?  How do I heal a wound that will never go away?

Like the song says, "How do I live without you?"



Anonymous said...

No one can possibly know how difficult it as been for you Cindy.
But, somehow, someway, God will continue to move you forward, even if it's baby steps and you'll look back and see the wonder of His mercy and grace.
I believe this blog has been a great thing and helped so many. Even those that have never lost a spouse, it's been a real blessing. Keep on sharing your heart and know that God has your back.........can't you feel His hands!
Love you,

Paula Waits said...

You get a little bit stronger every day... you may not realize it somedays... but you do! I love you forever and ever PB&J!!