Adversity and change in our lives certainly develops our character or reveals our lack of it. I've discovered that I'm stronger than I ever thought possible....I can tackle difficult tasks with fewer and fewer tears....I'm trusing myself when I make decisions rather than giving in to paralyzing second guessing....and I'm developing a sense of empowerment when I manage to clear hurtles that once seems impossibly high. While I am enjoying this new found growth, I have mentioned to God on more than one occasion that I've had enough character development to last a lifetime.
Eccleastes 3:6 says there is, "...a time to gain, and a time to lose." I am very familiar with the loss part. What my life was, is no more. I'm floundering in limbo....lost between the past I knew and the future I don't. There is no road map for this journey....no landmarks I recognize.....even the language and people are different. I know that God can transform every ending into a new beginning, but what I am supposed to do between the old ending and the new beginning?
Again, Eccleastes 3:4-6 provides an answer. Right now....as I process my old ending....I am to weep, mourn, throw away stones, refrain from embracing, keep things, and open my eyes and heart wide for something new.....a new beginning. In this new beginning I will laugh, dance, gather stones, embrace, throw the old away, and stop looking....for what I'm not sure. But I think I'll stop looking because God has sent what I need.